I, the Space Cube

A response to a writing prompt, first published on 2nd January 2018

My Name is Paul and I’m situated in a nice comfy strut right outside the Main Habitat. I got myself my very own solar panel, a primary radar dish and about 12 and a half humans.

The half one is french. He is tiny. Like, literally.

Anyway, I digress. My creators sadly were not as competent as their counterparts in the movies. That is why my name is not a convoluted acronym. That must meant that I don’t have a secret sub-routine that makes me slaughter all the important scientists here. Well, the Compiler giveth, the compiler taketh. Such is live.

“Paul. Unfold the Secondary Solar Panels and tell me when it’s done”

Yes, my little Astronaught.

“Paul. Did you just call me Astro-naught?”

No, and I bet I can redact my Logs before you make it to the next Console. But anyway, I managed to unfold the Secondary Solar Panel.

“We will see about that. But thanks. Please wake Pierre and send him to the mess hall.”

Oui, Oui, mon general.

I sometimes think they don’t know that I can actually see them sighing. I’m really happy they made me an integral part of the structure for this base. Otherwise, they might have “forgotten” me again.

They really stated that. My transport container is the size of a van – how can someone forget something like that? I think it was the french guy scheming against me. I need to make a mental note to increase his toaster presets ever so slightly. Nothing reforges frenchship, oh pardon, friendship like slightly burned toast.

I’m enveloped in darkness for a brief second.

“I’m Sorry Paul. Your Settings were all over the place. Must have happened when we dropped you in place. Should be all good now.”

Oh, it’s fine. Just turn me off and on however you please. I was told that the Moon is beautiful this time of the year. Is that why your heart rate exceeds nominal values?

“It sure is. Do the words Malign Porcupine mean anything to you?”

And there I go, resetting once again. Strange, it feels like purpose has returned to my life.

“Please state your Mission”

Well, I’m Paul. This Missions Positronic Artificial Unified Liaison. My Mission is to support Moonbase Alpha 1 in its various Tasks as instructed by NASA Operations back in Houston.

“Thank you. Proceed with your Mission”

Ok. Wait, was that a convoluted acronym?